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Everybody wants fulfillment. Filled by what, we don’t know. We just know hollowness and emptiness hurt. We want to be filled.
And so we go looking out in the world. Looking for the person or the thing that will satisfy that unending longing we feel inside.
We can spend our whole lifetime looking. Many people do. And we can end up just as empty as when we started.
Other people – savvy as they are – hear they should be looking inside. Makes sense when you think about it. Especially if you’ve already searched outside for fulfillment, and learned the hard way: you can’t buy a house big enough to make you fulfilled.
You can’t have enough money in the bank to create the feeling of fulfillment.
You can’t have enough friends.
Not that there’s anything wrong with those things. But they have nothing to do with fulfillment. It’s like trying to eat a mirage. It’s like watching the Food Channel on TV and expecting to get stuffed.
So it makes sense to look inside. But so often when we start looking inside we don’t like what we see. Because the first thing you come across is the fluff and the froth and the excrement: the cloud of unresolved emotion that surrounds almost every person on this earth.
The reason it’s unresolved is because you didn’t want (or maybe didn’t know how) to deal with it in the first place. That’s why people are so driven to look outside themselves. Because they see the froth and conclude they ARE the froth. Or else the froth is all they can find.
They don’t realize how easy it can be to blow through it.
How? By processing your thoughts and feelings.
Processing is the line that separates genius from insanity. It’s a way for you to blow through your own froth so you can get to what’s real. And it’s SO EASY TO DO. Too easy. Deadly effective, though.
Just get out paper and pen and start writing out your frustrations, your hurt, your anger, your bitterness, your fears. Even your pity!
Once you ‘get it’ that processing really works – your life changes on a fundamental level. It’s like receiving the key to freedom. You begin to feel hope. You begin to take back your power.
But as wonderful as it is, processing will not give you fulfillment. It just removes the froth so you can see what’s more real. See what’s behind – or beyond – the fluff.
And once you do, now it gets a little more intense. Now you’re faced with your blockages, your boundaries, your walls. The walls of separation.
And the processing reaches a point of diminishing return.
Not that you ever reach a point in your life where processing isn’t necessary. But there are certain places where you need something more.
The inner walls are made of pain. They exude pain. Unexpressed pain. And you can’t talk your way out of pain. I’ve proven that. To myself, at least.
We all have walls of pain inside us that separate us from fulfillment. To one degree or another.
Walls separate us. Separation causes pain. Separation keeps us from fulfillment. Little mystery there. It’s only a mystery if you don’t look at it and face up to it.
Here’s one way to face it:
Imagine that separation; that pain; as being like a ‘blanket of bitterness’ or a ‘cloak of frustration’. Whatever you want to call it. Imagine this blanket as being made of barb wire and stickers and thorns and small irritating pieces of metal. Or something similar. Use what makes the most sense to you.
A blanket of painful uncomfortability.
Spend a little time each day draping the cloak around you. Then FEEL your bitterness… your hostility… your frustration… whatever comes up. Let the feelings absorb into you. Right through your skin. Feel the rawness. Feel it cleanly.
Meaning: don’t tell yourself a story about those feelings. Don’t explain them. Don’t justify them.
If you feel them cleanly, they will release on their own. If you don’t feel them cleanly – they will NOT release.
That’s the key.
The more you can FEEL what’s in that blanket of pain – the thinner the blanket becomes. The more powerful YOU become. Because you’re taking back your power. You’re dealing with life proactively. On your terms.
And the closer you come to true fulfillment. Which is worth more than all the money in the world.
Fulfillment only comes when you completely and totally and honestly give up your delusion of separateness.
You won’t get there in a day. But you can start right now.
write by Darius