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It’s the age old conundrum. He’s interested in sex, and she’s interested in romance. It’s difficult to strike a balance, and it’s often the cause of stress in relationships.
From my perspective as a non expert in this area I think it’s true. There is a fundamental mismatch between what men want and what women want from their personal relationships.
It’s a shame it’s this way. You can’t blame men, that’s how they are. It’s how they’re wired.
And equally you can’t blame women, it’s how they are. It’s how they’re wired.
Of course that’s not to say that men don’t like romance, or that women don’t like sex, but when it comes down to it I think it’s clear that men look for more sex from their relationships, and women look for more romance.
We can of course see this as a major problem in relationships. A stress point in relationships. A burden, a cause of friction and a cause of distress.
However I think we ought to look at it differently. If this is just how it is why not see it as an opportunity to celebrate our differences and accept them. Accept, if I’m a man, that she wants romance more than I.
Accept, if I’m a woman, that he wants sex more than I.
And do something about it, use it as a fulcrum to improve our relationships, not to allow it to destabilize them.
I write about gifts for men. I’m not a relationship expert, so take everything I say with a grain of salt. However I look at this from the point of view of gift giving.
I see an opportunity for gift giving to become a part of our relationships. That gift giving can celebrate this particular difference between men and women, and help to bridge the gap.
How? Just like this. A couple need to talk about their likes and dislikes in the relationship. There will be many of course, but I’m just talking about this particular one. And if he is more interested in sex, and she in romance, they need to recognise this. Then they need a strategy to overcome it, and make it a strength in the relationship.
In my view they can do this by gift giving.
So she accepts that he loves sex. She accepts that if the relationship is to run as smoothly as she would like she ought to pander to this a bit. By giving him some nice sexy gifts from time to time. Sexy gifts a man would love.
I won’t go into details, I talk more about this on my site, but I’m not talking porn movies or anything like that, just some small and sexy ideas that any man would more than love.
Equally, and just as importantly, he needs to accept that even if it’s not so important to him, she loves romance, and long walks, and flowers, and so on.
And he needs to pander to this. To bring gifts to the relationship that she will enjoy. Romantic gifts that he may not normally have thought of.
He needs to put in the effort to bring more romantic gifts to the relationship, and she needs to put in the effort to bring more sexy gifts to the relationship.
And in this way, in my view, it will become stronger for both, and they may even find that the romantic gifts and sexy gifts bring it all together so that the entire relationship grows and becomes more fulfilling for both. That their sex life improves and their romance life improves.
And then the fundamental conundrum has become a positive, and has strengthened the relationship for them both.
write by Gideon