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It may seem difficult to combat loneliness and find true happiness, but there are effective ways to overcome discouragement and give your loneliness the knockout punch.
1. One of the most useful techniques I’ve shared with my clients over the years… is thinking about all the things you love to do but haven’t done for a while… and to start spend more time doing those things — immediately.
Sometimes life distracts us from doing what we really want to do. And we forget about activities that bring us so much joy. So why not get busy doing what you love? It may seem amazing, but once you throw yourself into an activity you enjoy you won’t feel so lonely!
Do you love to make quilts? Ride mountain bikes or fly fish? Race remote-controlled airplanes? Brew beer or make cider? Do you love to dance, play music or compete in dart tournaments? Play video games or watch old movies? Chances are, there are many things you love to do, but you forget to do them, or you can’t always find time to do them. Well…
It’s time to make time! Spend more time doing what you love and you’ll feel better. You’ll find happiness in being kind to yourself and doing what you love. Chances are, you’ll wind up interacting with more people than you may have imagined.
And you just may come across the path of a new friend!
2. Another good technique is to try something you’ve never done but always wanted to do. If you like to read, and you wanted to join a book group for a long time, now may be the right time. Book clubs are fun and they lead to stimulating discussion. And you’ll be able to do what you love and meet new friends at the same time!
If you enjoy taking photographs, join your local photography club. No club where you live? Fine, you can always sign up for a nature photography or portrait course at the local university or adult learning center. If you’ve thought about it, but haven’t yet done it, now’s the time.
When we feel sad and lonely we tend to stay home and avoid life. But if we’ll simply get busy doing something that brings us joy, we’ll feel better in a flash!
Action is a powerful anecdote for loneliness and depression. Doing something makes us feel better.
The quicker you get involved, have some fun and learn some new things, the better you’ll feel. And the quicker you’ll meet new people. Not a bad return on your investment. What a good way to find happiness, too!
3. Do You Need Therapy?
If you are phobic, shy and reclusive in nature, you may want to consider therapy. If you’re dealing with a stubborn condition like grief or clinical depression, a good counselor can help you overcome such conditions and enhance your ability to cope and grow inwardly and outwardly.
Happiness stems from many things, but in general, the happiest individuals are those who are well connected with others, those who keep busy with worthwhile activities and work, and those who think in optimistic and positive ways.
Improving your relationships will make you happier, too! Give your relationships some thought and consider how you might improve one or two of them. Nothing makes me feel any better than finding ways to improve my relationships!
4. Spend a little time in nature.
My clients have found, over the years, that a trip to the park, a walk through the woods or a drive to the top of the mountain can make them feel quite a bit better and effectively combat loneliness. If you want to learn how to be happy and improve your relationship with yourself, try reconnecting with nature… and, like the mystics of old, you’ll feel closely connected to all of life!
Meditating by a rippling stream, watching clouds or listening to bird songs can fill you with wonder, and a sense of belonging to the greater whole.
An hour sitting on a quiet park bench or walking slowly through the woods can put you in touch with long-dormant feelings of belonging to something greater than yourself.
Remember, if you want to stop feeling lonesome and blue, go to a beautiful park where there is great scenery and spend some time in a serene and rugged natural area. I have taken many a Sunday drive in the Blue Ridge Mountains, the Great Smokey National Park or the fabulous Adirondack Mountains. And every time I was touched by nature and inspired or healed in some way.
I always find happiness in such wonderful, serene places. Such an always encounter inspires and centers me. And it will help you, too. Nothing makes me feel better than visiting a great park or natural area, taking a trip to the water or mountains.
My favorite happy spot today is the Potomac Scenic Highway in the lush mountains of West Virginia. There it is easy for me to find happiness! The distant but ever so close ridges, draped in a blanket of purple or blue, stir me to the core and touch my heart in ways I cannot express. I can sit on a rock ledge or a mossy boulder and watch the wind tussle the leaves of the colorful hardwood and the limbs of the graceful spruce trees, and before long… I’m in heaven.
I feel like I have just walked through a door to another dimension. I can’t feel lonely in such a place. For I am one with the surroundings and at peace with the universe. Something within is stirring, and I am alive and centered in a new and profound way. The majestic beauty of the surroundings just seems to dissolve my worries and fears… and what a way to combat loneliness!
This same strategy will work for you, too. Now…
If you’re like my clients, you’ll find happiness by reaching out to others. I think it falls in the category of “universal laws.” By forgetting about your own problems and taking time to make someone else feel good you’ll end up feeling better, too!
5. By reaching out to others in small ways, you can nip loneliness in the bud!
A stroll through the old neighborhood or walking park can put you in touch with others and find happiness. When I smile at a stranger I feel less lonely. When I meet an old friend at the arboretum I feel better, too. When I compliment someone on their beautiful dog I always get a warm-hearted thank-you in return… and maybe a little pleasant communication will come my way, to boot.
If you compliment the chef on a well-prepared meal at your favorite cafe’, you’ll get a surprised “thank you” in return, and you’ll make someone feel really good. You’ll feel so good for making someone’s day. Just reach out and you’ll give loneliness the old knock-out punch. Better yet, ask to give your compliment to the chef in person. You’ll feel like someone gave you a warm compliment.
There are countless ways you can reach out to others and find happiness along the way… and you’ll get many good vibrations to come your way in return.
So, in summary, you don’t have to give in to loneliness…
You can do something about it… by taking the initiative to act in a constructive way, and by believing you can beat the loneliness rap, you will overcome!
Just remember, you can combat loneliness and find happiness (while you’re at it) by doing more of the things you love, by doing something different, and by spending some quality time in nature. Soon you’ll be on top of the world… or your favorite mountain. Maybe I’ll see you on Mount Marcy or Snowshoe Mountain someday. I’ll buy you a cup of coffee and we’ll talk about the beautiful places you have visited!
write by Seward