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It is practically impossible to find a phenomenon that both men and women would have the same views about. We remain a mystery for one another and essentially live in two isolated realities that only rarely intersect. How can we better understand our other half in everything, including intimate aspects? How to be happy together?
There are many books written about how to control a man and how to understand the female logic. But even after reading all of these books it can be very hard to apply the acquired knowledge. Even at the moments of complete closeness the two people joined as one still remain different. There are just too many differences between men and women.
To be precise there are five main differences:
o The type of thinking. The infamous “female logic” is almost completely incomprehensible to men.
o Perception. Women identify certain signals more clearly (they are better at hearing the baby cry, intuitively feel danger), while men are better at others (better at digesting new information).
o Peculiarities of hormone production. Women’s quantity of hormones changes cyclically, men have them at approximately the same level all the time.
o Body constitution. Female body is equipped to carry and give birth to a child, male body is made to hunt and protect.
o Emotions and preferences. Women more often prefer calm music and soap operas, men need to watch action and horror movies and to play games.
So the first difference is in brain hemispheres. It has been long established that with the help of the left brain hemisphere we think, perceive, draw logical conclusions, and with the help of the right hemisphere we feel, create images and associations. Men usually have their left hemisphere more developed, while women have the right hemisphere as a dominating one. Due to that men are more specific in their thoughts, try to reach their goal at once, solve the problem quick, without getting distracted by emotions, don’t groan and don’t wail. This is why usually men initiate the acquaintance and the transition to a more serious relationship. As far as women, they as a rule are the ones acting ambiguously and inconsistently.
The directness of men is shown in how they fix their attention on separate parts of the female body (each man has his favorite) and often base their choice of girlfriend on this preference. If for example a guy likes your breast shape, he can pay no attention whatsoever to your feet, and you spent so much time worrying about their big size.
The majority of men still think that their main merit is a large penis. Due to that many men feel inferior, considering themselves deprived by nature. They fearfully listen to the stories about the women that can only be satisfied by the fortunate owners of an impressive size penis. Whereas in reality women are far less concerned with the size of their partner’s penis than men themselves.
The sexologists claim that woman’s sensations during sexual intercourse are usually closely related to the feelings she has to her partner. And his penis size has no affect on reaching harmony in bed. The main thing is the two people should match each other overall.
The second major distinction is a difference of perception. A man is programmed by nature to notice danger in time and get ready to protect, or see the prey and concentrate on hunting. Their senses help them orient themselves in the area. Maybe talking about men like animals is a little weird, but what can we do, men essentially are the same children of nature and have sex due to the fact that one of the main instincts they possess is a sexual one.
A man is capable of feeling that something is wrong with his girlfriend or that she is not in the spirits by the volume or timbre of her voice. But unfortunately very often it is beyond his capacity to understand the whole range of a woman’s emotions.
A woman is more sensitive to the voice intonation, she intuitively reads nonverbal signals such as gestures, mimicry. A woman is created in such a way because it is important that she understands the needs of a helpless infant. It sounds like women are better psychologists and diplomats? Actually not better, just different. A man can grasp faster when to change the negotiations’ tactics, while a woman can more accurately analyze the feelings of the person she is talking to.
Another major difference is hormones. Women have everything cyclically. Their hormone levels are different during PMS, period, or ovulation. For men everything is stable and on the same level, unless they are sick. Men’s main hormone, testosterone, is responsible for sexual excitability as well as aggressiveness and passion. No wonder that starting from early childhood boys are into loud games, and then when they grow up they enjoy watching action movies and sport games and display their emotions loudly when the favorite team scores. When it comes to sex, men are often passionate as well, and that is why they often refer to a sexual intercourse not as making love like women do, but use more specific words.
Next distinction is different bodies. Beautiful appearance is rated as one of the top qualities of an ideal lover. However women tend to overestimate the impact of beauty. In order to stir up a man’s desire it’s not necessary to look like the models from fashion magazines.
Beauty is of course significant, but there is something more important. Women often feel insecure about their appearance. Doubting their own body’s attractiveness often constrains them in bed, prevents them from fully relaxing and thinking only about the pleasure. It is believed that men like long-legged full-bosomed blondes. In reality they consider brunettes more striking. When men look for a partner in life they do not look for an ideal body, femininity is the most important parameter for them. What makes a woman irresistible is the sexual energy she radiates. Most men react not to physical beauty, but to a certain aura of sexuality, particular charm, or smell. The ability to present yourself can compensate all the drawbacks of your figure.
Different emotions is the next difference between men and women. Due to the production of testosterone, men feel anger more often and therefore simply need to release it. For them the most harmless way to discharge negative emotions is to watch an action movie or play a shooting game on the computer, so women should treat it with understanding. Wouldn’t you agree, it is better he kills the monsters than finds a reason to start a fight with you, or even worse with his boss?
On average women cry four times more than men do and are three times more likely to get depressed. The reason for that is the difference in hormonal balance. Adrenalin, endorphin and testosterone are responsible for cheerful spirits and are produced in lesser quantity in women. Sometimes women cry after an orgasm. Some researchers see the connection between this phenomenon and the fact that women produce the “happy” hormone serotonin way easier than men. It appears and gets into the blood as a result of emotional excitement – after an orgasm. This hormone is also responsible for such important things like creativity and good mood. But when there is too much of serotonin, it becomes a factor of stress. And this is when women start to cry, losing the excess serotonin, which is dissolved in tears.
So now that we covered the main differences between men and women, let’s go over some of the most common questions men and women usually have about each other.
Why are men sex oriented and women are affection or relationship oriented? Undoubtedly a stable relationship is important for both genders. However, let’s remember the biological functions of the male and female. The first one is responsible for fertilization; the latter is responsible for bearing and nurturing a child. This is why a man wants to have sex more often than a woman, since he is always ready to participate in the process of fertilization, and a woman can only do that at a certain phase of her cycle.
Because of the chemical composition of blood men constantly need new sensations. It has been proven that the coolest porn movie that they watched for the second time impacts them way less than a mild erotic movie they’ve seen for the first time. Men are more concerned about the number of the objects of desire, and women – about the quality of the relationship. On average men have about four times more erotic fantasies than women. But their thoughts are more primitive. A man is thinking – “First I’m going to take her like this, then turn her, and…”, and a woman is dreaming – “I will tell him this, and he will reply that, and look at me like this, then I will ask him… and gently touch his hand.”
Why do men like to observe the process, and women clothe their eyes? For a woman intimate relationship is a continuation of her own feelings. Once she closes her eyes, she fully immerses into the world of sex, savoring the caresses. If a woman does not close her eyes during a sexual intercourse then she either wants to have a good look at the muscular shoulders of her partner, or what he is doing does not interest or arouse her at all.
A man likes to control the situation, plus seeing his partner delight in his touches turns him on even more. For him the feeling of control over a woman is an additional doping. The need to be in control originates from the care about satisfying the beloved one. Some couples actually install special mirrors in their bedroom, e.g. on the ceiling.
Why do some men consider protection solely the woman’s problem? To be honest, men can not stand condoms, they really do lower the sensitivity. However prudence gradually takes over and men more and more often carry a couple of condoms in their pocket – just in case. Usually though they try to use all their power of conviction to avoid the latex – “Don’t worry, nothing will happen, I’ve got everything under control!” Although such assurances are quite deceptive.
Women of course understand that sex without protection is much more pleasurable, but they are stricter about it, for the majority of women their own safety is more important than several minutes of pleasure.
Why do men feel like sleeping after being intimate and women want to talk and cuddle? Indeed, 80% of men feel completely drained after sex and they can easily fall asleep right after the orgasm. Ladies are much more enduring, only 46% of women get really tired after passionate love making.
Scientists have several explanations for this phenomenon. Sexologists think that women’s curve of the sexual arousal looks different from the men’s one, it rises slower and falls slower. Female orgasm is also longer. As far as men go, their curve of sexual excitement rises swiftly to the top and falls down upright right after the peak.
Biochemists claim that after an orgasm the supply of glycogen (animal starch which feeds the muscles) in blood decreases drastically. When there is lack of this element, a person feels completely worn out. Since men have a higher muscle mass, they get more tired.
There is one more explanation. During sex the cervix opens up slightly to make an easier way for the sperm, and stays opened for approximately another half hour. That’s when the hormone oxytocin starts to act, and a woman becomes tender and caring since her arousal hasn’t receded yet, and a man is inevitably falling asleep since he has already performed his biological mission.
Therefore there is no sense blaming your partner for turning his face to the wall and falling asleep right after having sex, it’s not his fault, the physiology is the one to blame!
write by Esperanza